


After the Fact

by Colonel_Edd



Series: Love Eventually [2]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Communication, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Happiness, Fluff, Friendship, Grief/Mourning, I promise, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-01-24 15:50:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18574645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colonel_Edd/pseuds/Colonel_Edd
Summary: After giving up their dream world for the greater good it’s been a struggle to readjust, can Jack and Ianto hold onto what they both desperately want or will they let it slip away as the going gets tough?





	1. Forgot

**Author's Note:**

> I wasn’t planning on continuing this story any further but here we are. This one continues on a few weeks from where we left the team last time, hope you like it. Let me know what you think in the comments :)

There were a lot of things to like about Ianto Jones, he was kind, thoughtful, generous, unshakeably loyal and he wasn’t too bad to look at either but sometimes he made Jack want to throttle him. Take today for instance, they had woken up in the same bed, something fairly new to the two of them but not at all unpleasant and everything had seemed fine. More than fine even, perfect. There was a little sun shining through a gap in the curtains, Jack had his arms full of soft pliable Welshman and for once it wasn’t the alarm blaring that woke him up but the sound of some birds chirping softly outside the window. 

Jack had just been thinking what a wonderful day it was going to be when Ianto woke up and immediately disentangled himself without so much as a good morning. The day only got worse from there, Ianto was snappish and moody, resolute in his apparent decision to have a terrible day. Nothing Jack did could make him smile, not even the funny thing he did with the small espresso cup that made him look like a giant and that always got him at least a fond eye roll but not today.

His bad mood followed him like a rain cloud to work, the coffee was subpar and when Owen pulled him up on it Ianto walked off without a word and hid himself down in the archives, “Something’s wrong with him” Tosh worried her lip from her desk as she looked down at her own coffee, “He’s been in a bad mood all day”

“What did you do to piss him off?” Owen glared at Jack, positive this was some stupid lovers quarrel

“I didn’t do anything” Jack frowned as he thought back to last night, they had a quiet night in, watched some TV, ate dinner and had sex before bed. Nothing had seemed wrong yesterday, “Not that I can think of anyway, he was happy enough last night”

Rolling his eyes, Owen held up his hand, “We don’t need to know the intimate details of your sex life, just get down there and apologise”

Jack insisted his innocence, “But I didn’t do anything!”

Finally joining the conversation, Gwen tilted her head to one side, “Sorry Jack but like you said he was fine yesterday, something must have happened after he left work and you’re the only one he’s been around since then.”

“Tosh?” Jack turned out the voice of reason but even she was shaking her head, “Fine, I’ll apologise” he frowned at his boots as he stomped off down to the archives.

The Archives had been a disgrace before Ianto joined the team and whipped them into shape, so much so that when Jack punched his code in to open the doors he barely recognised the neat shelves and cabinets that he found on the other side. It even smelled better down here, he had no idea how Ianto had managed to eradicate the smell of decades worth of dust and mould but he had. He wasn’t going to question it, he’d let him have his secrets if it meant he could come down here to look for a file without wearing a gas mask or arming himself with a can of air freshener.

Jack still didn’t know why he had to apologise though, he couldn’t think of a single thing he had done that could have upset the other man. Everything had been going great between the two of them recently. Ever since Ianto agreed to go out for dinner with him, things between them had escalated on an emotional level, catching up to where they were physically pretty quick. 

Jack wasn’t sure if it was residual effects from the alien device that had put them in a state of duel consciousness but if he was being honest he didn’t care. The feelings he felt were real, what does it matter that he realised them in what was essentially a dream?

“Ianto?” He called out, poking his head around the stacks in search of him, “Iantooo” he sang but there was still no response and he was starting to get worried, what if he’d accidentally activated some sort of device and got himself hurt? Or killed?

He was about to ask Tosh over coms to do another scan so he could narrow down the places to search when a light flickered from one of the storage rooms,“Ianto?” He walked towards the light as the sound of someone moving around reached his ears, “Ianto?!” He asked again, pushing the door further open to see Ianto busying himself with a box of files with his back turned, “There you are, everything okay down here?” He sighed with relief when he saw the other man in one piece

“Fine” came a terse reply but something felt off to Jack, he didn’t sound quite right, “I’m busy”

“Mmhmm” Jack approached him slowly as to not spook him, “I could help” he offered

He wasn’t used to Ianto being so blunt, “No” but he could have sworn he heard a hitch in his breath

Putting a hand on his shoulder, Jack could feel how tense he was, “Ianto,” he turned him around and quickly pulled him into a hug when he saw evidence of tears on his cheeks, “Ianto I’m here, its okay”

“I’m fine” Ianto struggled to get away but Jack kept a firm grip on him until he stopped fighting, “I’m fine” he repeated firmly but a sniff indicated otherwise

Swallowing, Jack pulled away a little but kept his hands on his lovers shoulders, “You know you can always talk to me, something’s obviously been bothering you today” he knew Ianto was a proud man, he didn’t like admitting when he was obviously upset. He tried to keep a tight reign on his emotions but sometimes Jack just wished he’d allow him in, he only wanted to help.

“It’s stupid” Ianto insisted, embarrassed at being caught, “It’s nothing, really, I’m fine” he wiped his eyes roughly, trying to get rid of any evidence that could indicate otherwise, “I’m sorry if I’ve been acting unprofessional”

“I don’t care about professionalism, I care about you” Jack ran his hands down Ianto’s arms and intertwined their fingers, “Talk to me” Ianto mumbled something under his breath, “I didn’t quite catch that, sorry”

“I said” Ianto took in a deep breath, as if bracing himself, “It’s the 21st today”

“The 21st” Jack repeated, no clue what Ianto was talking about, “Right”

Ianto looked at him, almost betrayed and it broke Jack’s heart as he pulled his hands away, “See, I told you it was nothing”

“No!” Jack was quick to take his hands back as he wracked his brain, “No, hang on a minute. I just need to think, I’m an old man after all”

“It’s the anniversary of when he brought Cara home for the first time” Ianto spat at him as he yanked his hands away firmly.

It had been hell readjusting to life after he woke up from the dream, there was no other word for it. The only shred of light in the darkness had been Jack and even now he was moving on, leaving him behind in the dust to cradle his broke heart alone.

“The…” Jack closed his eyes as pain washed over him, of course it was, “Ianto please,” he felt helpless watching his lover close off right in front of his eyes, the spark of what made Ianto shine was flicking out and it hit Jack like a ton of bricks, “I’m so sorry, I fo-”

“You forgot” Ianto didn’t sound angry, he sounded almost hollow, “Like I said it’s fine, just a dream. I’m sure I’ll get over it soon”

“You’re not as good a liar as you think you are” Jack shook his head

Ianto snapped, glaring at him itching for a fight, if he couldn’t make the pain go away he may as well use it, “Yeah? Well I had you fooled pretty good when we first met” the words tumbled out of his mouth without a second thought but he regretted them instantly

“Yes, you did” Jack admitted as he tired to keep his temper, he knew Ianto was in pain but that was no excuse, “Go home Ianto, you’re obviously in no state to do anything productive right now. I’ll come round later and we can talk.”

“Don’t bother, I have nothing to say to you” furious and miserable, Ianto didn’t spare Jack a second glance as he stormed out of the room, what a shitshow.


	2. Fragile

Against his better judgment Jack did go to check on Ianto after he sent everyone else home later that evening, he knew his lover probably wanted space and wouldn’t appreciate the company but he couldn’t settle without making sure the other man wasn’t going to do something stupid. He knew better than most the lengths grief could make you go and he didn’t want to see Ianto hurt anymore than he already was.

So there he was, waiting patiently by Ianto’s front door after knocking for several minutes, “Ianto?” He knocked again hoping his neighbours didn’t come to investigate the racket, “Ianto it’s Jack” when he didn’t get a response Jack sighed and fished his key out of his pocket, Ianto had given him one after their last date. He’s been so cute about it, pretending it didn’t matter as much as it obviously did, he’d even bought a little airplane keychain to go with it.

Unlocking the door, Jack made his way inside and sighed once more when he saw all the lights were off, the usually bright home now gloomy and depressing, “Ianto?” he called again as he began his search, eventually finding him curled up in a miserable ball on the bed, “Hey,” Jack perched on the edge of the mattress and after a few seconds of careful deliberation he reached out to place his hand on Ianto’s back, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine” came Ianto’s steely reply as he shrugged Jack’s hand off, “What do you want?”

Jack closed his eyes and counted to ten, he knew Ianto was in pain but that didn’t mean he himself wasn’t, “A hug?” A hug would do him the world of good right now actually, he was surprised to find himself close to tears as he opened his eyes again, Ianto hadn’t moved, “I don’t… Ianto, it’s not often I’m at a loss for words but nothing I say is going to make you feel any better”

“Then leave me to be miserable alone” Ianto snapped at him, sitting up to glare at the other man, “This is obviously something I have to deal with by myself, you’ve already moved on so let me do the same”

“If you really think that you’re even more of an idiot than I first thought” Jack pulled his wallet out and tossed it to him, “You’re not alone in this Ianto, I’m right here with you”

Holding the wallet, Ianto frowned at it, “What’s this?” He opened it and felt his heart stop at what he saw, “Jack” he whispered as he ran a finger across the image he found tucked away. It was a small square of paper on which Jack had drawn a picture of Cara, he’d captured her perfectly, down to the very last curl, “When did you draw this?” It hurt to look at but it also brought Ianto some peace, to see her face somewhere else than his memory

“After we first woke up, I’ve got more in my desk in the hub” Jack shuffled closer and slowly wrapped an arm around Ianto when he didn’t move away, “I would have shown you sooner but I didn’t want to upset you”

Ianto sniffed and handed the wallet back, “Well I’m upset anyway, I’ve been upset since we woke up” he scrubbed the fresh tears from his eyes feeling exposed, “Can’t we- I just… do you ever want to go back? Just active that damn device and lock yourself away from it all?”

“Everyday” Jack admitted, pressing a soft kiss to Ianto’s temple, “But we’ve got to live in the real world, we can’t abandon the team”

“I know” and he did, logically he knew they had to work through this but screw logic, Ianto was in pain and he just wanted it all to stop, “I still want to though”

“Me too” Jack pulled his arm back and crouched in front of Ianto, cupping his face in his hands, “This is the real world though, it’s messy, it hurts but it can also be beautiful as well. I’ve travelled the universe, seen planets and cultures you wouldn’t believe, walked under every colour sky you could imagine but this right here,” he pressed their foreheads together and watched as Ianto eye lids fluttered closed, committing this moment to memory, “blows all of that out of the water. This, you, us, all of it is something I never imagined I would ever want and here I am clinging to it desperately” he closed his eyes too, cherishing this moment for as long as he could, “You make me desperate Ianto… and you know what? I wouldn’t have it any other way”

Ianto eventually opened his eyes and nudged their noses together to get Jack’s attention, “You make me desperate too”

Jack eyes were still closed, his hands hadn’t moved from where they were cupping Ianto’s face as his lover watched him carefully, “Then lets be desperate together, I’m always going to want one more day with you Ianto, let me be here with you”

“Yeah” Ianto licked his lips as Jack pulled away a little so they could finally look at each other again, “Okay, lets”

“Yeah?” Jack smiled, his hands sliding down to toy with the hair at the nape of Ianto’s neck

Nodding, Ianto forced a smile too, “Yeah” he closed his eyes once more as Jack leant in, expecting a kiss and being pleasantly surprised by the embrace he received instead. He’d die before he admits it but Jack gave the best hugs, they made him feel warm and safe and sort of fuzzy on inside, “I love-” it was as if time slowed down around him as Ianto panicked, he’d been about to tell Jack he loved him for the first time since they woke up. He felt as if he’d paused for hours before he saved himself but in truth Jack hadn’t event noticed him falter, “-this” he loved this, he could say that right? He knew the feelings he felt in the dream were true and that Jack probably felt the same but he wasn’t going to be first one to say it.

It would kill him if Jack didn’t say it back and he wasn’t going to risk it, his heart was in tatters at it was. One more blow and Ianto feared he wouldn't be able to come back from it.

“I love this too” Jack murmured, completely oblivious to the minor freak out Ianto just had in his arms as he savoured the feeling of Ianto’s warm body enveloped by his own, “Have you eaten yet? We can go out for dinner if you’d like”

Ianto crinkled his nose at the suggestion, unimpressed with he idea of going it into society while he was still feeling so… fragile. It was a fairly new experience to show this side of him to someone else and he didn’t think he could survive a dinner date with Jack while still feeling so raw, “Why don’t we order in? Or we could always cook instead” He suggested, his hands sliding down Jack’s chest of their own accord, “Just the two of us”

Waggling his eyebrows, Jack smirked as he felt Ianto’s hands slide under his shirt, “We haven’t even had dinner yet and you’re trying to feel me up”

“Are you complaining?” Ianto pressed a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth, “That doesn’t sound like you.” Bloody tease

“Of course not.” Jack tightened his grip in Ianto’s hair and pulled him in for a longer kiss, pouring as much feeling into it as he could, “I was suggesting that we combine the two, obviously” he panted quietly as he caught this breath back, “How do you feel about eating Chinese off my naked body?”

Ianto rolled his eyes with a fond smile as he ghosted his hands up and down Jack’s sides, “I might have trouble with the noodles”

“I’ll cut everything up really small” Jack promised with a wink, “Bite-sized pieces.”

“Chinese and Jack Harkness?” Ianto teased, “How can I refuse?” He refused to admit he was disappointed when Jack climbed off the bed and went in search of the house phone eagerly, just like he refused to admit the sadness started creeping back in as soon as Jack left his line of vision. He had this under control, he wouldn’t slip up lie this again, he couldn’t deal with Jack being upset over him of all things.


	3. Family

Jack Harkness was not a stupid man, he wasn’t one to boast but he was fairly certain he was one of the most intelligent people on the entire planet. You know with him being front he future and everything. But even if he didn’t know physics way beyond even Toshiko’s understanding or math that could shatter governments, he would still be an expert in Ianto Jones. 

He liked to think he knew almost every inch of the man, physically and emotionally. Ianto was sad and didn’t want to show it? His left eyebrow would twitch. He was exhausted but didn’t want to let on? Slight limp in his left leg from where he broke it as a kid. In great emotional pain he didn’t want to burden others with? Well, that’s when Ianto brought out the big guns otherwise known as misdirection. 

Jack had allowed it at first, he was all for allowing Ianto to use sex as a comping mechanism as long as he was the only other party involved. He wanted to keep the man safe after all but eventually after three weeks of ‘shaggin like rabbits’ as Owen so eloquently put it, Jack knew he had to bring the issue up again.

Which albeit was easier said than done, especially when Ianto had him pressed up against his office door after hours doing filthy things with his tongue, “Ianto,” Jack managed to pant out between kisses, “Hang on a sec”

Immediately Ianto stopped what he was doing and scanned Jack’s face with visible concern, “What? Is something wrong?” Maybe he should have waited until after sex, if he managed to say everything he wanted to then Ianto might not feel compelled to continue…

“No, not at all,” Jack slipped his hands up to the other mans shoulders, not wanting him to run away, “but I think we should talk” when Ianto’s eyes widened a fraction and his shoulders went stiff underneath Jack’s palms he was quick to add, “Not that sort of talk, I just have something on my mind I’ve been meaning to share with you”

After all, how could he expect Ianto to open up to him if he himself was still holding back?

“Okay” Ianto drew the word out, clearly still suspicious as he allowed Jack to lead him to the small sofa he had in his office, “Is this about something I did?”

“No, this is more of a _me_ thing” Jack reassured him, kissing him quickly as he wasn’t sure Ianto would allow him to do that again for quite some time after he told him this, “It’s just, I want to know everything about you, I don’t want to miss out on anything and it occurred to me there is a lot of my past that you don’t know about”

When Jack didn’t move to say anything more, Ianto squeezed his hands gently, “And I’m fine with that” he really was, Jack had lived for hundreds of years, he couldn’t expect his lover to tell him everything, “I’ve made my peace with it”

“And that’s why I want to tell you” Jack smiled sadly, he had waited his whole life for someone to love him for who he was. Love him for his faults, not in spite of them, “Cara wasn’t my first child” he decided to get it over and done with fast, like ripping off a bandaid, “I’ve had children before, two”

“Oh” Ianto didn’t pull away but he didn’t look thrilled either, “Are they…”

“Melissa- Alice” Jack corrected himself, “Is still alive, she lives in London” Ianto wisely didn’t ask about the second child and Jack didn’t offer up anymore information in relation to them, “She has a son of her own now, Steven”

Ianto did pull away a little at that, though he didn’t move off the sofa, “You’re a grandad”

“Yeah” Jack rubbed his hands together now they weren’t clasping Ianto’s, unsure what to do with them, “Alice was taken away from me when she was very young by her mother, she found out about my… inability to die and disappeared with our daughter.”

“That’s awful”

Jack nodded, “I had no idea where they went, I found them eventually but by that point it was too late. Alice had been turned against me by her mother and wanted nothing to do with me, still doesn’t in fact. I’m only allowed to see Steven once every three months, he thinks I’m his uncle”

Ianto ran a hand down his face with a sigh and Jack honestly didn’t know what to expect, “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I want to be open with you” Jack swallowed past the lump of fear in his throat, “Because I want us to be able to talk about anything, I don’t like keeping secrets from you and this was something I could actually tell you about without risking timelines or something-”

“Thank you” Ianto wasn’t sure what he was suppost to say really, “I would have hated to find out during a crisis”

“Is that all you have to say?”

“I don’t know, Christ Jack what do you want me to say? Do you want me to invite them round for Sunday lunch or something?”

“No, I don’t know” Jack sighed, “Maybe this was a mistake, I just wanted to-”

“What Jack? What did you want?” Ianto was close to losing his temper

Frustrated this wasn’t going the way he wanted, Jack threw his arms out, “I just want you to know that I’m still here, that we can talk to each other” why was communication never easy with them?

Ianto didn’t get it, “Of course we can talk to each other”

“Really?” Jack scoffed, “Cause lately it’s been a lot more sex than talking”

“Are you complaining?” Ianto shifted even further away and Jack didn’t know what else he could say to make himself any clearer

“I just want… I liked how things were before” he admitted, “I know I said I can’t promise you the white picket fence or baby or even a dog but I _want_ those things with you. For the first time in years I want to fight for something other than Torchwood, I want to fight for us and it feels like I’m losing you Ianto”

This conversation was giving Ianto whiplash, “What are you saying Jack?”

“Gwen and Rhys make it work” Jack reached out and grabbed one of Ianto’s unresponsive hands, “Why can’t we?”

“Because I’m an unstable mess and you’re the Captain of a secret organisation that fights aliens,” Ianto shot back in immediate deadpan, “and lets not forget we already have a pet Pterodactyl, she’d get jealous if I came in smelling like a puppy” Ianto cocked his head to one side thoughtfully as he deflected and tried to change the subject, “Well jealous or hungry I’m honestly not that sure”

Hurt in the face of rejection, Jack tried not to let it show, “Okay, fine. I understand”

“I-” Ianto cut himself off, sighing as he tried to find the right words, “I don’t _not_ want that with you Jack, it’s just complicated is all”

“So we take it one step at a time,” when Jack said it he made it sound so easy. When he smiled at him with that soft look on his face, Ianto swore Jack was trying to push him over the edge into a mental breakdown, “We keep go out for dinner, we watch crappy movies in your flat, have amazing sex and when things get difficult we don’t push each other away”

Suddenly realising how close they had gotten during their conversation, Ianto barely resisted the urge to close the gap and continue what they had started earlier, “I’d like that”

“Yeah?” Jack grinned, leading closer so their noses brushed together, “Me too”


End file.
